When The Lamp Looks Weird

The woman wakes up, and notices something strange about the lamp. A little blurry, a little unsettling, like something’s changed, but can’t quite identify what.

That’s what aging feels like for women. They do not disappear overnight, but rather slowly, subtly, and soon, the world stops looking at you the same way. The compliments fade, their purpose becomes parched, and the attention grows elsewhere. Our society tells women their worth is directly tied to youth, so when time inevitably moves forward, how are they supposed to feel?

The Science Behind the Glorification of Young Women 

Why are young women placed at such a high priority in our society? There is science behind this phenomenon, as young women are a biomarker for fertility. Evolutionarily, youth has been associated with reproductive success, making younger women more desirable in terms of biological selection. This subconscious bias has been entwined into modern beauty standards, where a youthful appearance is equated with attractiveness and worth.

But while fertility may have once been a driving force behind these surface-level preferences, society has taken these circumstances and twisted it into something that is continuously ruining our perceptions of beauty. This uncanny emphasis on youth has become a tool for countless industries to exploit.

How Older Women have been Left Out in Almost Every Industry

We have all experienced the thought of being terrified to grow up and grow old, and soon, we also realize that time will go on whether we are ready or not. However, for women, this fear of aging goes way deeper than a simple thought; our society has continuously capitalized on the time of “being young,” and their lens has almost never extended for those older in age. In virtually every beauty advertisement, beautiful young women fill up our screens. In most films and series, young women book up almost all female roles. The era of youth continues to haunt us in every aspect of our lives, yet when women become past their prime, they are no longer seen nor heard. 

This phenomenon is known as the Invisible Woman Syndrome, coined by Caroline Criado Perez in her book “Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men". This syndrome makes it particularly hard on women, as the author explains that there is an overwhelming feeling of being invisible and irrelevant for many women over 50. A survey that studied 2,000 women revealed that by the time they reach the age of 51, only 15% of the women felt that they had high or very high confidence in ANY area of their lives, and 46% thought no one understood or addressed what aging and older women go through. This feeling of being ignored often gets swept under the carpet for elder women. Still, this constant theme of ignorance will build up and can detrimentally impact their mental health. 

And what other thing can they do other than long for their “good old” days? With youth-centered beauty standards infiltrating their everyday life, many older women turn to anti-aging products and plastic surgery, hoping to preserve the youthful appearance society highly values. In 2017, individuals aged 55 and older underwent over 4.1 million cosmetic procedures, accounting for 26% of all such procedures that year. With these standards constantly being pushed upon women to be “valued”, these treatments and procedures are becoming less and less about personal preferences and more about surviving in a world that equates beauty with success. 

What You can Do

So how can we start to forget about the feelings of the lamp? By reading this article, we have finally understood the harmful effects of putting young women first on older women; it’s time to change that narrative, and make everyone feel included. 

Even a simple initiative to start conversation with the older women in your life can mean so much to them. Call or visit them to see how they’re life is, and maybe bring up these types of issues to see what their opinion is on it. Encourage storytelling, and make them feel like their stories matter aswell. Many would be surprised to see how much life advice and help they could offer if only they had an outlet. Too often do these women feel unheard, so just listening can make a large difference. 

The way compliments have always made us feel can apply to older women too! Compliment them on their hair or outfit, as small words of affirmation can make their day feel so much better. When they are constantly told that they are “past their prime,” even just a simple compliment can have enough power to change a narrative. 

Finding out about different communities and support groups is also a way to help older women escape society’s booby trap of unrealistic standards. They aren’t the only ones, and discussing the struggles with others who go through those exact problems helps in ways that could change perspectives.

You are not alone. Whether you are young or old, we must all stand together and be happy for the way we grow up. The truth is, we all age, and we all are bound to grow unwanted wrinkles, dull skin, and thin hair—but the most important thing we MUST preserve is our happiness. This natural process known as aging is something we should embrace rather than fix or alter.

And now have we realized, the lamp looks perfectly right.